Published May 19, 2026 from Atria Books
1: A compelling opening image.
2: A little awkwardness in denoting body parts. “The softness of her hand” and “a stiff palm” aren’t equivalent phrases, since one is a quality of her hand and the other is the hand itself. And I guess it’s technically correct that a mouth tells stories, but it feels weird to say it like that.
1: Of the two sisters, it would probably be the one who screamed next to the coffin, right?
2: Feels like a weird phrase for a child to use.
3: Nice description.
4: A slightly suspicious way to put it…
1: Seems a little in-the-weeds to go into the mechanics of magic in the middle of the scene.
2: Nice character detail.
1: Weird to refer to the premises of a place that isn’t named until later in the sentence.
2: Seems like unnecessary worldbuilding at this point in the story.
Verdict: Neat concept but a little choppy.
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